sometimes i wish i didn't talk so much, didn't ask so many questions, didn't have this need to hear the answers especially the answers that i already know . hearing them makes me feel worse.
i go into auto pilot… can't control my thoughts, my mouth… strings of words just come out. words i wish i never used in that combination.
wish i could just let go of my issues, my grievences, my disappointments and move on, be free from my anger and guilt and just love.
just love.
sometimes i feel that im making progress, and then i take 10 steps back. hopefully i've taken more steps forward so that i am at least ahead of where i was.
i think i am heading in the right direction… i know there is a lot of love inside and all around me. i don't always feel it, but i know it's there. my fear overtakes me. i need to conquer my fear so that i can channel this love freely.
